Insomnia’s soliloquy

Time to turn the page on the story of my life and end this day, as when I wake it will be a new page to be written and filled of adventure and mystery now unknown. Grateful for what ever blessings come my way, but will not curse the bad tidings if they call my name. Today I laid a foundation or two for tomorrow and sent away a ghost or two of yesterday. So now like the sun that set many hours past, I turn off my light and let the moon with her chorus of stars sing me to sleep. Whatever comes your way, be gentle with yourself, and paint the world with your brush of love, light and peace. Goodnight.

© Fi S. J. Brown

Autumnal dreams

Colour bursts have exploded all over the city, the trees are ablaze with autumnal fire. Soon one by one they will fall to the ground, like a thousand memories of this year now almost over. But they leave behind a green of guard to protect us from the bitter finger of Jack Frost. As once he starts to laugh and point, no creature on Earth is immune from his white brush and song.

© Fi S. J. Brown

autumnal dreams

Memories of Plavecky Hrad

Plavecky HradDeparting from the village with a stream and air of times past I began my ascent. My journey was joined by cornflowers, clovers and cowslips marking a path with flashes of blue, purple and yellow lights to guide my feet to the edge of a forest.On entering the forest it was like I had completed level one of a secret test to locate the castle. The climb now because very steep and enclosed by trees, which were trying to prepare for their autumnal ball or awaiting a Prince Charming for a dance. Steeper and steeper every step seemed, I felt like I was missing an equine friend to enjoy the journey together. I stopped five times to rest and refresh, with each one my legs felt like they were climbing Everest five times over such was the distance and steepness climbed.

Then level two cleared as the ruins first caught my eyes and I felt at one with those who had made the journey before me. The light of the sun caught the remains of every window to the highest tower, giving each one their moment in the spotlight. The view with a hazy filter caught my breath, it then felt like it was that which covered my view. Through the haze were fifty shades of green, like soldiers standing guard over the land. The human settlement that shares the land appeared to be singing nature’s songs along with her, a far cry from the fifty shades of grey that I often saw back home. I then saw a solitary tree beside where I stood, he whispered in the wind he now guarded this view, which once human had; Mother Nature told him it was the most important role in all the land, so he took great pride in his work. Then I returned to the remains of the castle which glowed in the sun, almost showing off medals of past victories against an enemy now nowhere to be seen or heard. Looking out of her ruined windows was like looking into her soul and how much the view had long been part of her; she was as much part of the land as the tree who guarded her.

The descent felt like I was on fast forward, although watching for branches and roots with every step, the steepness seemed almost to have been a mirage, perhaps it really had been part of a test to see if I was worthy of rescuing a princess, which in this case was the castle herself. Soon I was met by the floral friends I met on my my ascent, who I felt were cheering my way for seeing what few of them ever could or would. My final step down was accompanied by the rushing of the stream, almost applauding and toasting me on behalf of the village as I had seen their princess. On meeting the mayor of the village I felt like I was meeting a relative or colleague of the tree in human form, a foot soldier at the the bottom of the hill. I smiled as I now knew a secret that the world did not of this village and her castle, which I then realised were twins as there would not be one without the other.

© Fi S. J. Brown

Life is a ladder

One of my favourite pieces of art at Danubiana reminded me of life being like a ladder: It is best taken one step at a time, with the freedom to move up and down at our own pace; sometimes we fall off and need to start again but that is only natural; and it is not how far we climb up the ladder but go as far is comfortable for us.

© Fi S. J. Brown


A Slovakian Escape

Flying to Slovakia my journey was high above the clouds so could not sense where I was physically I was passing over, but I felt like a bird finally free and spreading my wings. As I came to land it was as though I was going through ice caps, the clouds did not look fluffy but irregular blocks of ice, and I was about to enter Atlantis.

Upon arrival it hit me what it must be like to not understand any word of a language, I had not looked at my Slovak phrasebook that much, but there was English alongside them. It felt like old and new meeting at once, the Slovak words making me curious not just to their sound but the traditions and people of the country I now stood.

Bratislava herself made my eyes feel at first like I had stepped into a television, so many advertisements along my path. However, her charm is something to behold, with an old town of architecturally stunning buildings and a majestic river, which at sunset was as turned my breath to light and shone over all it was touching.

The views from Bratislava castle were like seeing a new friend opening their arms and giving a giant hug, knowing I could trust her with my every word and step. The bridges made me feel I could achieve my goals, the high towers felt like I could build a life here and the red roofs, an eternal warmth of love not danger was in this city.

The Danube herself sung and danced whenever I saw her. My first impression was Strauss was right with his famous piece. An art gallery (Danubiana) sits in the middle of the river; inside was like walking on water among some incredible works of art, the statues outside felt like his guardians of all forms of Earthly life.

The trip to Plavecky hrad (castle) is a story in itself through a magnificent forest and up a steep hill to reach her ruins but rewarded with views (although hazy) worth every step of the climb. No cold and ghostly feelings from the castle herself, but a tree overlooking the view felt like the final guard to keep the ruins safe.

The day trip to Vienna along the Danube at first was spoilt, for when entering Austrian waters a fog descended, which as it lifted felt like Styx had been steering the boat. I have travelled to Austria before, the richness of the architecture to the German language made me feel like I was now in familiar but foreign ground

Upon going to leave I cried, not just in sadness to say goodbye to Blanka but to this “little big city” that had left a big impression on me and I had left a little part of me there. The flight back among the patterns of black and orange across Slovakia, Czech Republic, Germany, Netherlands and finally to the UK. I will return soon I hope.

© Fi S. J. Brown



Plavecky Hrad

Rid the world

The Mind Unleashed posed the following question to their social media: “If you could rid the world one of thing, what would it be?” I thought this was one that needed a good ponder. The following is what I decided.

I noticed a couple of people had said “humanity“, which as many liked as said it was stupid or wrong to even suggest ourselves. To only think of the entire world and ourselves being at the centre is to me our egos talking like this is our playground so will play by our rules only, where as there is much more than what we have created to it and believe we enrich the world with being in it. To me those that did not agree with it were falling for the latest trick, thinking only of themselves and not others, and could not see we should sing a song with nature not autotune the world’s voice to suit our own needs. However, getting “rid” of humanity is not the answer, retuning ourselves to rediscover our role within the world for me is what is needed.

Quite a few had said on those that abuse and/or hurt children, which I agree is wrong but to hurt any living creature for me is wrong. We single out children as to us humans they are the most vulnerable in our societies, I could argue back that all life can be hurt and/or abused, we have others such as the elderly or those with additional needs that are also vulnerable to being abused and hurt by others. Abuse of two adults, particularly in relationships, it is often the female that is seen as the victim or vulnerable one but can be of either gender. Removing those that hurt and/or abuse the lives of others at first seems a good idea but when and where do we know where to place limits, and how we would begin to screen people for this?

A very popular answer was “organised religion“, which I can see why many said it as has been used and continues to be used as battle lines for war. For many their belief system is their tinting on the world as sets out their morals, ethics and values. Belief for many is a symbolism of hope. I witnessed a lady on the bus only the other day reaching out to a a fellow passenger on the bus and explaining about god, which the person reaching out felt would be of benefit to them. Whilst I was pleased to see someone helping their fellow human, I felt this wasn’t the place for her beliefs, the passenger was in more of a non-judgemental ear, human warmth of hugs and a mug of tea, so could be heard. For me it is the empathy in humanity that matters most.

So what would I “rid” the world of? Disdain, which can be defined as “the feeling that someone or something is unworthy of one’s consideration or respect.” Everyone and everything has worth and deserves our respect. As humans no two journeys are the same but from our experiences on it we can empathise with compassion and insight into how another may feel. These days of apathy, indifference and hatred are making the world fifty shades of grey, rather than a rainbow filled of incredible diversity, variation and distinctiveness. We would rather be the same than different, but yet for me that is what makes the human experience and life is about, discovering how we fit in within this jumbled jigsaw that we call life and making the most of it.

© Fi S. J. Brown

Natural therapy

If you have ever fallen, failed, felt helpless, been lost, dazed or confused, had your heart broken, faced tough decisions, met with uncertainties or caught in difficult circumstances, yet still got up and taken that next step…never forget to do so was not only amazing, it was also highly inspirational and worth reminding yourself that you did, and can do so again.

So whistle your tune once in a while (in the good and bad times) as the flowers on your path will be dance with you from the touch of your breath, the birds will sing it along with you as love to sing a happy song, the hills will lie down flat as know they are no obstacle for you, while the rivers will whisper your name far and wide in respect for what you achieved.
© Fi S. J. Brown

Nature and us

The sea – watching the waves going in and out calms our hearts to the same beat, which untangles the brain waves and recharges the soul.

The hills – from the distance they look so high but once climbed the view is incredible, like the reward for overcoming whatever what has hurt us.

The forests – full of trees large and small that hug us as we walk among the, which sets of birds flying past to take away our woes far away.

The flowers – a variety of colours and types, which no one is truly different but neither are they truly unique, equally none are perfect, like us.

The soil – best walked on barefoot and let its nutrients absorb into and moisturise our skin, replenish what a moisturiser filled with chemicals cannot.

The seeds – pick up two or three to plant ideas in our minds, not of what will make us money but bring us contentment, all starts small, like us.

The unseen – the mircoorganisms we share this world remind us how even in a crowd it can feel empty and all have hidden talents, start exploring.

© Fi S. J. Brown

Our changing world

Have cars become our homes and sanctuaries on wheels? A place to escape the noisy neighbours, screaming children, and nagging or cheating partners. Where as before we may have gone for a walk, let the clouds take our woes far away to rain on who or whatever is hurting us, a forest of trees giving a large hug of support and a sun smiling to give us hope.

We also have built buildings of fifty shades of grey that suffocate our passions and connectedness filled with an air of jealousy, oneupmanship and bitchiness instead of a gentle breeze to revive the soul, bird song to make us sing with them and friendships of mutual love and respect. Why are we surrounding ourselves in monotone when there is a muticoloured and multiscensory world just outside just a footstep away.

Also, we have mountains of waste as everything has become disposable, nothing lasts more than a few years before being replaced be it a mobile phone or partner. Equally, our communication has been reduced to words on or a face on screen rather than face to face. Is so we as can hide real feelings and emotion? Create fantasies or cry wolf?

Has the world changed or have we? Not wanting to be merely an actor, we have turned away from being part of the cast of Planet Earth, but become her director. We are becoming blind to what is around us, sleeping walking to a brave new world where we will have lost compassion and empathy for the world. Isn’t it time we woke up and broke down the wall?

© Fi S. J. Brown

Day of peace

As today is International Day of Peace, I took five minutes out of my day, shutting my eyes to think what it means to me.

Minute one – I thought of those that bring me comfort when sad, the people that make me smile and laugh, the way they look, the sounds of their voices and what they individually mean to me.
Minute two – I thought of the differences I have to the people above in my life, their little quirks and indocracies that I see as being very them, and the acceptance we have for each other.
Minute three – I thought of what life would be like without them in my life, how different it would be to it is now, and how I would react to someone or something hurting them in any way.
Minute four – I thought of those elsewhere in the world that have no one to love or trust in, live in continual threat of war, and where being different is stigmatised with fear of death.
Minute five – I thought of hope, to send to those that are in war zones, some have never known peace, how we magnify difference and not accept, and that one day that there will be peace.

© Fi S. J. Brown