Giving up

Some days it feels like the best course of action is to hide away from the world as fed up trying and trying again but seems to fall in pieces at our feet, shortly follow by ourselves. However, we must remember; as much as this world and its people may hurt us giving up is not an option. So take time out to do something we enjoy without feeling guilty about it, even if it is hiding out among the leaves so blend in or hide away, just for an hour or two.

© Fi S. J. Brown

Flowers

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Dominoes

This morning as I woke I considered how important one person is to Planet Earth, can one person really make a difference. I’m not talking celebrities or politicians, but people like you or I, someone in our lives from friends, loved ones and family.

So I imagined a picture of my left eye, then zooming out a picture of my body with the collection of books and art on the walls of my room, and out again looking at where I live being grateful to have a home with all its luxuries within.

I then considered the street I live on, with people I did and did not know, then to the city I live with its seven hills and the history it all could tell, and on to the country that marks my culture, an island in the North Sea, which in itself is small.

I zoomed out further to Europe, a continent full of different traditions and customs, then to the world filled with all sorts of different life not just human of shapes and sizes, and finally an universe that holds secrets that few really understand.

I felt so insignificant, I cannot make a difference as only a dot. Then I considered where I saw dots, dominoes. I then realised that my words and actions were like the dots of them. So really my life is but a series of domino displays.

I decided that this week, when I feel why do I bother or give a damn, I will remember my dots,  touching the lives of others that I may never see but go beyond my street, town and country. I may be one person but the impact with others, amazing.

© Fi S. J. Brown

Dreaming

You may hear the birds in an early evening sky,
I’m listening to the myths and legends they tell.
There’s a hidden truth to what they foresee,
I’m listening for change and hope for Earth.

You may see a world filled with many colours,
I’m painting a brave new one with my eyes.
There’s a fire up in the sky warning of danger,
I’m painting the signs with words and pictures.

You may feel frightened of the endless dark,
I’m reaching out to link our hand together.
Beyond the high hills troubles melt like snow,
I’m reaching for the top of its highest peak.

There’s a wish and a hope with every new day,
I’m dreaming for an end of the lies and spin.
Joining the other birds flying so high and far,
I’m dreaming of freedom far from this cage.

© Fi S. J. Brown

Dreaming

Depression Awareness Week 2015

Today sees the start of depression awareness week 2015. It is incredible how one word can scare us; a diagnosis that suddenly makes us seem different to others and/or not normal any more (or so we/others are tend to believe).

Just because we cannot physically see it, and unless we or someone we are close to does, it may seem unreal but it does not take away from the hidden torture, pain and tears it brings. Some self harm just to give these feelings a life, I choose to use creativity.

Someone with depression for example is unlikely to deliberately hurt others but may push someone away as cannot understand how we feel. Equally, not everyone spends every minute crying or want the pity of others, we just want to be accepted as we all do.

I have been depressed since I was a child; on the tummy of a Care Bear I saw with a cloud and rain, that’s how my own felt. From my teens to my twenties of hidden tears till reaching breaking point. My thirties are the happiest I have ever been.

My closest friends have helped me learn to smile; one told me recently to keep smiling and we all believe in you. Depression is part of me, but does not define me. It is a label or box like any other, which belong to foods not humans! So this week be grateful for all that makes up our lives.

© Fi S. J. Brown

The written word: Past, present and future

What would our ancestors say of how we tell stories via the written word, when many could not do so. Instead they would use art from painting and music to tell them and pass them on to the next generation. Even today being able to read and write is a luxury that many of us that can, forget.

Something I have often pondered is, if time travel were possible when or what would I most like to visit. I decided recently that for me it would be the ancient library in Alexandria because I would not only like to see what was in it but ultimately what was in it and answering who really did set fire to it.

The thought of books on fire reminded me of the excellent “Fahrenheit 451” by Ray Bradbury. The book tells of a dystopian future vision of America in which books are banned and if found they are burnt. When I first read it over 15 years ago I could not imagine a world with no books.

However, today we have electronic readers today such as kindles, the word always reminds me of kindling. I will admit to not being much of a fan as love the smell and feel of books. So are they kindling of the fire to destroy books and the written word? No, I would not go quite that far.

However, it does make me wonder about edits to texts, books we regard as classics, if the original text will remain unaltered? Then again, how many books we do read now have gone through changes? The Bible, has probably been spun and purposefully mistranslated for centuries.

I have this concern as have heard it with music, as an artist produces a remastered greatest hits with subtle changes in the music from the originals. Equally, I have seen edits in movies and television, to make them more suitable for a set time frame or feel something isn’t appropriate any more.

So what is the future for the written word? More and more we are publishing our own work, from fan fiction to novels, but are people actually reading more? Yet original creative thought and work seems to be declining, as we see and hear old ideas rehashed. I can only hope for the future.

© Fi S. J. Brown

There’s an app for that

Today if we want to learn how to do something we go to a site like YouTube to learn by video or we use an app on our phone/tablet to do it for us. More and more we let an app do something for us, rather than working out or learning how it is done, as quite often quicker and easier than spending time, or so we argue, learning how is not important. Yet our parents and grandparents would, if they were lucky, go to a library and borrow a book to learn how to do something but many more would learn from their parents or grandparents directly or indirectly.

It is as though in many ways we are now reliant on technology to think for us, not question and wonder for ourselves for there are other things we would rather do than study. Yet at the same time we complain of a boredom our ancestors would never have understood, with so much now possible we find it hard to find something to do…is that not a contradiction? Is it because we have become so reliant on machines for us, that some cannot think for themselves? It seems as though some almost need the machine or app to tell them exactly what to do, when and how!

So what can we do? As for some being without the internet and/or mobile phone is although missing something or no longer part of modern life. Those that choose not to have social media are thought of as strange, as the cynics believe they must have something to hide or even anti-social! I have considered doing this myself countless times but decided to keep for sharing creativity such as music, art, photography and writing. So much of our lives based upon the screen that conversation in person seems so strange to some, but with an alcoholic drink it’s ok!

Does technology improve our lives, is in now ruling or even ruining our lives? Stopping to think about what makes us human, all we can do with our many senses and our capacity to learn new things from scratch. Yet now it seems like we are sleepwalking backwards by relying on something else doing things for us and thinking for us so we can get on with something perceived to be more “fun”. In many respects the robots of science fiction are here but are not the humanoid droids we thought they would be. Machines taking over, is it really so far fetched?

© Fi S. J. Brown

Time to smile

There is a saying that time is the greatest healer, and I would totally agree with it. What seems like a major incident today is but a footnote on our life’s story. In 2006 I hid the pain of depression inside and sometimes self harming my feet, I looked older than the almost 28 years I was suppose to then be. We are now in 2015, I let go of what hurt me and try not let today’s pains stick, setting them free as the sun sets. I am happier now within than I have ever felt previously. So whatever is making the world seem black, focus on the good things and keep the colour in focus. Remember we all have scars from where this world has bitten us, but it is now time to bite back.

© Fi S. J. Brown