I believe in a thing called love

I have always felt we do not pick who we fall in love as it is the person with their quirks and idiosyncrasies, their gender should not matter and we should not judge another for picking someone that is the same as their own. It took me until my mid-30s to accept I am asexual, i.e. I lack sexual attraction to anyone, with zero interest in or desire for sex. Yes, I’m a grey-A as they say, but as most of you know I dislike boxes or labels, they belong on food not people.

The hate some give to another if they say they are gay, lesbian or bi can be considerable, even in areas like the UK and America that are seen as more accepting than others. Some use religion as a reason for this hate, why put your beliefs on another? Believe what you like but when it comes to love does a god or book really define something we all feel and that every songwriter tries tell us afresh from their prospective and redefine for a new generation?

Opponents of gay marriage say it changes what marriage means; what it doesn’t mean that two people that love each other and want to show commitment to each other for the rest of their lives? It breaks down traditional family values is often argued too; how many married in the past as they were unable to be true to who they were and be with the one they loved? Or stuck in an abusive relationship that they could not escape from as would not let them leave them for another?

It is not natural is one that sometimes makes me giggle; have they seen how all animals behave in the wild and not in circuses or zoos? It maybe idealistic to have a child to be raised with their natural father and mother, but with relationships breaking up all the time, isn’t it better a child is loved by two people that love them than two people staying together for the sake of that child? Being a parent is more than being a sperm or an egg to a name on a birth certificate.

So Barry Manilow has admitted he’s gay and been in a relationship for 40 years, should we be shocked or say so what we already knew? It doesn’t matter, to me what is amazing is that he’s managed a relationship that lasted so long particularly one in the entertainment industry that are fake or typify how disposable love seems to be for some these days. Should it matter who our favourite entertainers, be they musicians or actors, have as their partner as it is their business and not ours.

What should it teach us, if anything? Be yourself, be happy, and those that complain it says more about themselves than it does you! This world preaches enough hate, envy, and jealousy these days, can we not have more love, acceptance, and appreciation for others? Love is a rainbow as we’re all different. Believe what you want to believe, but I believe in a thing called love…just listen to the rhythm of my heart!

© Fi S. J. Brown

To be human

Question, what one universal thing connects us all? Answer, being human.
 
We may look different due to gender, genetics, and/or race, but those are part of our outer shell and we share a heart that beats to give us life. We also have differences in ability, beliefs, sexuality and personality, but do they really make a difference in making someone human?
 
Equally, what is normal? Normal is how life is for us, one person’s normal may be different to ours but does not make them abnormal or a freak. Do our similarities not make us connect but these differences teach us a different way of living life, which is no more right or wrong than the way we choose to live it.
 
Today is world human rights day, a chance not to dwell on the negatives of life but be grateful for what we have and the freedoms some of us enjoy that others cannot. All to often we want more and more yet forget how lucky we actually are and what rights we have.
 
So many for example in the UK to the US taking being able to read and write as such a given thing, we learn them us small children and skills for life. However, being born in a different culture if female may never have the chance to learn these skills. Belief and faith are personal things, if someone wants to follow Christianity, Scientology, Atheism to Pastafarianism, let them. Also disabilities, not every one can be seen outwardly, but inwardly can be a struggle just to get through the day without pain and tears.
 
Recycle jealousy, greed and anger into empathy, understanding and love. Be a candle of light and hope to others not judge and jury. The world is full of critics, so be an encourager and supporter. Also, be ourselves not an imitation of someone else or hide are true selves as scared how others will react, that’s their problem not ours. Finally, embrace what makes us unique, it would be a very boring place if we are all the same!
© Fi S. J. Brown

Judge and jury

What we see in others is essentially a reflection of ourselves, our projections and prejudices. Any time we judge someone, we reveal more about our character than anything else. We sometimes judge according to another’s looks/race/gender/ethnicity/beliefs/sexuality/ability/class/age but their actions and behaviour around us and others says far more than they do. We are all on a journey, that can be very hard, tiring and tearful so why be so judge and jury to others as they live it differently to us? Enough judgement and criticism, nobody is perfect, we all make mistakes. The only person we can really judge is ourselves, without giving ourselves a hard time when we do make a mistake or two. Anyone who thinks it is okay to hurt, laugh at and/or judge another can go spin on my middle finger.

© Fi S. J. Brown