Love and light

Events over the last few days in Orlando to West Yorkshire have sent many of us in tears and asking for answers we do not even know how to formulate the questions to beyond the simplest ‘why’. It is times like this that can bring us together in love and grief but equally tear us apart in hate as wave the finger of blame with a thirst for revenge; there is enough blood being spilt worldwide right now without us adding to it.
Consider for a minute why do we paint a sky one shade of blue or grass one shade of green, when they are many different shades? Just as these events are done by one grey shade of humanity that does not mean they represent all of us; nor for example will every person that worships an afro haired Martian called Bob will do extreme things such yarn bombing trees, some are happy to knit hats and scarves in their homes.
Now pick up your matches or lighter, not for a fire but to light a candle, and let us set off a light beacon of love and hope throughout the world, driving out those that want us to live in fearful and hateful darkness. Then pick up your phone to ring, text, email or Facebook those you love to remind them just how special they are to you and do this often as today is now, where as tomorrow is a whisper but not a promise to anyone.
© Fi S. J. Brown
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Life Lessons

Nine lessons I have learnt in life:
1. Love – self-compassion and being gentle with ourselves when things are rough and/or black, letting go of self-criticism.
2. Kindness – random acts of kindness by others can lift our spirits, so why not be the giver rather than wait to be a receiver.
3. Resilience – when life knocks us down, don’t be out for the count, instead learn to adapt or spring back by from the punch.
4. Hope – one of the greatest gifts we can give another and helps us move on from the obstacles that block our paths.
5. Courage – not only an absence of fear but to be able face problems head, trying something different or new.
6. Mindfulness – being aware of the present moment, who and where we are now not who were or maybe in the dreamy future.
7. Gratitude – little things are like sweets in a jar mean far more than one giant bar of chocolate as can appreciate alone or in all.
8. Support – be it friends and/or family, they are keys to our growth as their love waters, enriches and strengthens roots.
9. Individuality – we all contribute to this world in unique and special ways, each one of us is a superhero with superpowers big and small.

© Fi S. J. Brown

Festive Ponders 2015

It is almost the shortest day of the year, which means the final countdown of the festive season will truly begin. A time for excess, but let’s make it of love, compassion and empathy, not envy, jealousy, or the largest turkey to diamond ring we can afford. Remember, it is not the size of the gift or price tag, but the thought another human being thinking of us that does. They took time out of their day to do so, even if we don’t like it.
 
It is also the time when we reflect on the year now almost over, resolving to make the next better than this. Instead of resolving to change habits that we will break as soon as the 1am bells ring, why do we not consider being ourselves 24/7. Be true to who we are and what matters to us, nobody has the right to tell us it is not normal or wrong as it is what is what and how life’s colours paint our story and no two are ever truly a like.
 
Also, be gentle with ourselves when things don’t go as planned, that way when success comes it can be like enjoying the view from a mountain seeing all we overcame to get there. Do not feel guilty at that piece of chocolate or extra mince pie, as we all deserve a treat for surviving those dark and hard times. However, using alcohol to drunks to cover those times do not work, like a band aid on a gaping, the pain will always seep through.
 
Nobody is truly ever alone, we all have someone somewhere that we matter to even in thought and spirit. It may not be a happy season for all but send hope. To those we call family or close friend, keep them close in heart not just at Christmas but every day by letting our thoughts and actions show how much they mean to us. To those we may only speak to via Facebook or Christmas card, are symbols of our life’s journey from past to present, giving it shape.
 
To those that follow my blog I appreciate you doing so as you follow my journey and do not judge it, accepting my quirks and idiosyncratic ponders, as paint the world as it is through my experiences and points of view. To those these are the first words of mine you have read, thank you for taking time to read. Now take all these words as my gift to you all, wishing good health (mental and physical), love, light and peace today and everyday.
 
© Fi S. J. Brown

A question of survival

This cage is no wilderness,
And the computer screen
Can conjure up the image
Of an Edinburgh sunset
But it doesn’t know it from
A sale at Next or Sainsburys,
So it’s up to me to remember
Birds singing, leaves dancing,
Puddles for jumping or leaping,
Skies filled oranges and reds
Memories fading as day ends.

A person thinks they make a living
But the real living is far from here
I see a dog run into the waves,
Trying to fetch his ball again,
Following the horizon and beyond
Watching dreams just out of touch.
Wishing I could soar like an eagle,
Over those hills and far away
I light a candle but blow it out
Making that wish and whisper
Believe it again under my breath.

© Fi S. J. Brown

I believe

I believe…
I believe today is the best day ever.

I believe in crying,
I believe hugging is the best therapy.

I believe in smiling,
I believe laughter is the best medicine.

I believe in dancing,
I believe music is the best language.

I believe in hope,
I believe intuition is the best guide.

I believe in loving,
I believe friendship is the best support.

I believe in you,
I believe trying is the best thing.

© Fi S. J. Brown

My story

Why are those things you admire most in others the hardest to find within yourself?
No matter matter how hard I try I am destined to be the one left unsold on the shelf.

I’m tired of endless searching high and low for what seems to be hidden from sight,
My place is stood shadows not to be hogging front of stage under a big spotlight.

For my expectations of life are not all that great with no dreams fame and fortune,
But a simple life with a job, dog and house by the sea with less tears and misfortune.

I watched the others flying, rising and soaring far and wide in the sunrise at dawn,
Perhaps I am meant to fly at night with the moon when the world is full of yawn?

For now I need to keep believing it again repeating the words that they taught,
And I’ll have to keep being patient, waiting a bit more and finalised my story’s plot.

© Fi S. J. Brown

2015

Take this box and fill it with all that hurts you, when you think it is full add some more. Then put it on a shelf to only be opened as little as possible. Now take this bottle, fill it with all that makes you happy, it will show you even on the hard days your glass is more than half full and the little things matter. Finally, take this glass. It is filled with hope, health, happiness, love and peace. Drink it so that 2015 brings all that and more to you.

© Fi S. J. Brown

Comfort and joy

Tills and bells ring to the tune of the festive season, mimicking the sound of Santa Claus’ sleigh on that night that make young and old rejoice. Yet every night in the sky the stars ring out but few stop to listen to them toll, as grown deaf to their gentle chimes. They bring comfort and joy wherever they ring, but many would rather the sound of a new iPhone 6 held in their hands.

Do not let the ransom notes of the advertisements tease and torment the soul, and fill it with nothing but greed and envy instead of glowing from inside out like the moon. A gift does not have to be bought to show the sounds of our heart when the recipient is near, for it echoes in our words and actions every day; feeling the most precious gifts of all – love, peace, hope and light.

© Fi S. J. Brown

The Tunnels

What is depression? If you have not ever experienced it, as it is not physical disease like heart disease or high blood pressure, or visual so others cannot see internally what damage it is doing, so therefore is hard to explain in a way for others to be empathetic and try to understand. For me at my worst it was like a series of tunnels, constantly under attack by forces unknown, whilst scrambling on my hands and knees trying to find an end with a light that was the end. When pulled from the tunnels by some incredible friends it felt like I was pulled from a well. At first as I was adjusting to what could be light, I often could feel my fingers slipping back down only for them to grab me and pull me back. I am now free from the tunnels and learning to enjoy the light, even if it burns my eyes at times. I know I do not want to fall back among the maze of tunnels, so found writing and photography give both a voice and image to how I feel and give hope to others still stuck among the tunnels.

© Fi S. J. Brown

tunnels

Day of peace

As today is International Day of Peace, I took five minutes out of my day, shutting my eyes to think what it means to me.

Minute one – I thought of those that bring me comfort when sad, the people that make me smile and laugh, the way they look, the sounds of their voices and what they individually mean to me.
Minute two – I thought of the differences I have to the people above in my life, their little quirks and indocracies that I see as being very them, and the acceptance we have for each other.
Minute three – I thought of what life would be like without them in my life, how different it would be to it is now, and how I would react to someone or something hurting them in any way.
Minute four – I thought of those elsewhere in the world that have no one to love or trust in, live in continual threat of war, and where being different is stigmatised with fear of death.
Minute five – I thought of hope, to send to those that are in war zones, some have never known peace, how we magnify difference and not accept, and that one day that there will be peace.

© Fi S. J. Brown