Life – The Unwritten Rules

1. Forget whatever rules you’ve been told before, this your life and can lead it whichever way you want to. That is except if you hurt another living being by physical, mental, or emotional means to get what you think you should have as greed, envy, and jealous individually and collectively will taunt and tease you to get their way.
2. Normal is different for everyone; for example your body may not look like those in a magazine or on a website but neither do the people they are of as manipulated to someone else’s idea of ‘perfect’ or ‘normal’. Equally, an anatomy and physiology book shows a human body, but does not allow for variations that make you human.
3. Beauty is everywhere, but requires all our senses to truly experience it; for example using the eyes of a child experiencing the world for the first time, if something feels wrong trust that instinct as far better than burnt fingers for not doing so, and actively listen but never judge or be too busy as never know when you may need to back.
4. Very little is truly black or white, it is that murky bit between where all lies, the real fifty shades of grey. So do not assume or disregard something you have never experienced as trivial or unimportant; even if you have, the way you did and how will never be the same as another as have your own skills, genes, and experiences of life.
5. When trying to wait for a signal to do something, do not put it off for another day or except another to help you. The signal to do it is when you realise this is it. Do not try to run or expect success straight away, take your time and listen to advice from others but remember it is just that and not a fullproof recipe of must follow steps.
6. Time is a healer so do not expect someone else to ‘just get over it’ as no idea how deep the scars (visible and invisible lie). With passing days to years it may fade into the distance but equally it can be like an old record stuck playing the same line again and again with no way to make it stop unless you stop iy yourself.
7. Money cannot buy happiness and success, as with everything else these are determined by yourself and not by others. In many ways it makes you dance to the beat of someone else’s drum as you follow their golden carrots, but are invetiably fools gold and only serve to make the puppet masters richer and richer.
8. Lessons are not confined to classrooms and books, in many ways you will learn more through life’s journey than can be taught by another. When rocks block your path don’t try to kick them but try carving them into something to take with you to show you how far you’ve come or roll them slowly and steadily away.
9. Everyone makes a mistake, admitting to them when they happen is best as the lies become as twisted as the roots of trees they become and create shadows that hang over you. When the tree eventually falls it is not just you that will be hurt as it does, tripping up over the now exposed roots, no mistake (great or small) is worth it.
10. The meaning of life is difficult but simple too. Life is an ever changing, ever evolving experience. Each day is full is full of patterns you may recognise but new ones come in to colour in that pattern or change the shape of it so not the same as it was before. Adapting to this constant similarity and change is key.

© Fi S. J. Brown

Questions to ponder (and my answers)

  1. When was the last time you tried something new?
    – Last month, learning the Danish language.
  2. Do you think crying is a form of strength or weakness?
    – Strength, as letting go of what is hurting us and a sign to move on from it as best we can.
  3. Are you living or existing?
    – I try to ensure I live in the moment but some days feel like it is existing by joining the dots going from day to night.
  4. Are you holding on to something you need to let go of?
    – Yes, some personal stuff that still hurts from my past and impacts on the present.
  5. How old would you be if you didn’t know how you are?
    – Mid-70s, feel I have seen the world many times over and so many repeats but yet still room for surprises too.
  6. What makes you smile?
    – Seeing a message from one of my closest friends or my niece Isabella’s excitement at life without the jadeness we gain with age.
  7. When was the last time you listened to the sound of your own breathing?
    – The other day when sat watching autumn leaves fall around me.
  8.  What has life taught you recently?
    – Some people will always judge others by their standards or how they think life should be lived, best not give them your oxygen or time.
  9.  Can you describe your life in six words?
    – A cryptic maze with false paths.
  10. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make mistakes?
    – As in admitting we were wrong or caused an error leaves us feeling exposed and vulnerable, thus open to pain and hurt.
  11. If life is short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t?
    – We dwell too much on negativity and find positivity really hard, but should focus on we do have or are not would like or had.
  12. Is it more important to love or to be loved?
    – Both, as being loved shows us what love is and we should share that with those we feel are important in our lives (not just on anniversaries and special occasions).
  13. What act of kindness were you were once shown that you will never forget?
    – My closest friends by believing in me and encouraging me when I was not able to do so for myself.
  14. What is your goal for the next six months?
    – Find the middle of the maze.
  15. If you could live one day of life over again, what day would you choose?
    – Hard to single out one day as changing things would change who I am now but days filled with good memories I would like to keep being special for their uniqueness.

What about you? What are your answers?

© Fi S. J. Brown

Judgement Day

Do you judge yourself? Those you love? Friends near and far? Strangers in the street? Someone on television? A picture on the internet? Every day we make judgements and are judged based on our actions, what we or others accept as normal, right from wrong, and the labels we or society give others. These judgements can be made on a click of the finger, bitterness from previous experience, or assumption based on our own or other’s ideas of logic and reason.

Yet who decided to make ourselves or others the judge and sometimes jury too? Do we feel guilty when we make an assumption that turns out to be wrong? Are we too proud to admit we are wrong? Do we toss in our sleep like a salad with guilt, or sleep like a log in the forest? Do we learn from our mistakes, or keep repeating them? How does it feel when someone does it to us back? An opinion is just that, a belief, just because we or others do, does not make it right from wrong.

Like sheep we try to find a flock that is similar to ourselves, yet what we often fail to realise it is those that are different to us that teach us the most. We do not want to stand out from the crowd and feel the laughter and mockery. Life is hard, so why do we make it harder for others under a notion it may make us feel better? Personally, I would rather be a dog than a sheep, loyal and caring to those I love most, not following the crowd, being true to myself and respecting others.

© Fi S. J. Brown