The Resilience of Trees

Introduction

Let’s first define what Resilience is. It may be defined as ‘the ability to recover from or adapt to hardship or change, toughness’. In other words, resilience is the ability to recover from and, perhaps, grow due to trauma and pain.

Humans go through phases of growth and development, much like trees. Trees are mighty beings that tower over us, but they begin as little seeds buried deep in the ground. Like us, they are born dependant on others to survive, but over time, they grow into self-sufficient beings, shaping their own destinies.

A tree stands as a profound metaphor for life, symbolising growth, resilience, and interconnectedness. When it comes to resilience, few things in nature embody this trait as much as trees. With their ability to withstand high winds, extreme temperatures, and even forest fires, trees are the ultimate symbol of steadfastness and durability.

Parts of a Tree

Now let’s turn to the parts of a tree, and look at what they say about us:

The tree’s roots represent our beginnings, including our ancestry, culture, and genetic heritage. Our upbringing and formative experiences serve as the foundation for our identity and perspective, just like the roots of a tree nurture and support. In the same way that unhealthy roots can impair a tree’s health, unresolved issues at this level, such as childhood trauma or dysfunctional family dynamics, can have an impact on our mental and emotional well-being.

The trunk is a representation of who we are now—strong and resilient. Our sense of identity and value underpins our behaviours and interpersonal interactions, much as the trunk does for the branches and leaves. A robust trunk represents a well-rounded, flexible mentality that can handle life’s obstacles. On the other side, a weak or damaged trunk might make it more difficult to lead a balanced and healthy existence.

The branches stand in for the various routes we choose the choices we make, and the directions we go in life. Our decisions might lead us in a variety of ways, some of which will be more beneficial than others, much like a tree’s branches. Aspects like our relationships, careers, interests, and personal objectives can all be represented by a branch. Healthy growth frequently requires making tough decisions or pruning branches.

The tree’s leaves stand in for our feelings and ideas. Our ideas and emotions change and rejuvenate with the seasons, much like leaves do. While the appearance of new leaves might signify emotional growth and rebirth, the act of letting go of old emotions or thoughts can be symbolized by the falling of leaves.

Lastly, the tree’s fruits represent our successes and the influence we have on the world and other people. These can encompass our contributions to the realm of work, wholesome relationships, creativity, and everything else. The outward manifestation of all the deepest layers of growth and development is the fruit.

Types of Trees

It is not just the parts of the tree that we can relate to our life experiences, but different species of species too.

One of my favourite trees is the willow. Strong winds are known to cause willows to bend and swing. However, they can resist strong winds without breaking or cracking because of their flexibility.

The oak tree is another kind of tree that is known for its resilience, and thus its ability to survive harsh environments. Because of their exceptional strength and durability, oaks can withstand the weight of large amounts of snow and ice.

However, what about trees that are strong and flexible at the same time? Because bamboo is extremely robust and a hardwood, it can be used for furniture such as a bookshelf. The shelf will not break under the weight of books, even after being filled for many years. Bamboo has been used as scaffolding for constructions for over 1500 years, even for 25-story buildings, due to its extreme flexibility. Like bamboo, we may be powerful yet flexible at the same time.

The Resilience of Trees Exercise

Finally, here is a fun exercise to do in creating your own Tree of Resilience. Put it up somewhere that you can see it every day – as a reminder to you.

1. Download a blank drawing of a tree from the internet or draw your own. Ensure it has roots and leaves.
2. In black, write the name of all your people that support you to the roots. Think about who you speak to on the phone, text, chat to on social media.
3. Ask these people what your strengths are – things you’re good at. Add these to the right side of the tree in blue.
4. On the left side, in red write down some of the challenges you have already faced and overcome – who and what helped you then?
5. The leaves could represent memories – using green write these down. Some of them you might want to be blown away, others might grow on your tree and help give you some joy. Other leaves might be wishes and hopes for the future – ready to grow and bloom when the time is right.

Reflections

Another year is drawing to its close
With darkened days growing longer
Autumnal leaves now line my path
Like all the things planned for the year
As scrunched up bits of paper binned
Foreshadowing the white to come
A constant reminder I hate the cold
Layers to wear to shut out his grip
A hat to block Jack Frost laughter
Freezing those that hear its mania

The festive lights are shining brightly
And streets are full of noisy people
But I feel lonely among the crowds 
Noone’s hand to hold in safety
Or a child wanting this year’s gifts
Branded and stamped not by Santa
And I am getting older in a few days
With birthday wishes turned to dust
And childhood innocence long gone
What’s another trip around the sun

© Fi S. J. Brown

The Autumn Forest

The autumnal forest is a symphony of colours
Painting in reds, oranges, yellows, and browns
The leaves are falling like wedding confetti
Dancing in the wind and covering the ground

The autumnal forest is a feast for the senses
The distinctive smell of pine and earthy decay
The sound of crunching leaves and chirping birds
Tasting crunchy apples and pumpkin spiced lattes

The autumnal forest is a place to wander solo
A hidden world filled with magic and mystery
The sun filtering through the naked branches
Creating patterns of light and shadows

The autumnal forest is a gift to each one of us
An reminder of beauty and constant change
Earth’s constant cycle of life, death and rebirth
Ushering in the shorter darker days ahead

© Fi S. J. Brown

Counting Scars

Out of darkness. into the light
In the freedom, there's no fear
Years ago, I was lost
Living life in the black
Ready to give up, ready to give in
Take a final bow and curtain call
Reached a point of no return

I count all my scars
Painted in invisible ink
From all the lost wars
I count all my scars
Painted in invisible ink
From a final battle won

Staggering backwards, blinded
Crashing waves, drowning slowly
On a road someone else drove
No control and no exit signs
With silent tears on my pillow
Reached the point of no return

I count all my scars
Painted in invisible ink
From all the lost wars
I count all my scars
Painted in invisible ink
From a final battle won

Reached the point of no return

I count all my scars
Painted in invisible ink
From all the lost wars
I count all my scars
Painted in invisible ink
From a final battle won
I count all my scars
Painted in invisible ink
From all the lost wars
I count all my scars
Painted in invisible ink
From a final battle won

© Fi S. J. Brown

My Beautiful Addiction

I lie here in an empty freezing prison cell, 

Alone apart from the black mirror in my hands. 

How long I have been here I couldn't say,

A prisoner and jailor with the key in one.


You're my nicotine, my beautiful addiction,

Always there morning, noon and night.

You're my loyal friend and trusted confidant,

And source of information to entertainment.


I can lose myself in the worlds you created, 

Allowing me to forget about all my troubles. 

I can be reborn as anyone I choose to be, 

With the freedom to do anything I want.


You're my nicotine, my beautiful addiction,

Always there morning, noon and night.

You're my loyal friend and trusted confidant,

And source of information to entertainment.


I know you will never leave me like they did,

But I really should look beyond these walls.

Unlock the door to where it all can come alive,

And set all my senses free and soul awaken.


You're my nicotine, my beautiful addiction,

Always there morning, noon and night.

You're my loyal friend and trusted confidant,

And source of information to entertainment.


I don't know what to do or where to go first,

My beautiful addiction.

Maybe five more minutes for you'll show me,

My beautiful addiction.


© Fi S. J. Brown

Lost and Found

I walked alone by moonlight as I lived in fear of the sun,
Blinded and burnt once too often by her false promises.
Left thinking everyone only ever saw her loving warmth,
While I sat silently crying cold and shivering in the corner

Like a puppet I was forced to follow in her yellow light,
Always pulling my heart strings to make me dance her way.
Behind the scenes echoing Pinocchio wanting to be a real,
But she would taunt me more with scissors above my head.

Forever trapped in a world that was of her creation and ideals,
Escape was only temporary as I returned like a boomerang.
With so many negative thoughts and deep holes of self-hate,
How could I love myself when I did not even know her likes?

When the news came it was not through a town crier,
But sat in an office with a floral mask upon both our faces.
It was a dodgy gene turned on is what the expert told us,
There was finally to be an end that was not my full stop.

The months passed as the sun’s needs grew ever more,
But control of the universe was slipping from her fingers.
Shifting the balance of power in a whole new direction,
Setting prisoners free from crimes they never committed.

The day before she set for what would be her last,
We listened as ever by Classic FM and Mr Armstrong.
The following morning I held her hand one final time,
As she passed with a rattle to silence within minutes.

In almost four months I seldom cry for her passing,
Adapting to my new normal has been far harder.
No longer someone’s puppet or living in the darkness,
I was lost but now I am found.

© Fi S. J. Brown

Thirty Years Bald

This year marks thirty years since my hair first fell out. At first small patches of flesh could be felt through my hair, which quickly became no hair anywhere a woman can have hair – head to eyebrows and under arms etc. As tomorrow is International Alopecia Awareness Day I am going to mark it with a special blog.

The support I received as a 12 almost 13 year old for the psychological impact was zero – hospital, family and school. It was a typical British affair of using my stiff up lip and putting my chin up, it could be worse. The bullying was almost normal by then, but this just gave them fuel to isolate and humiliate me further. My mum, who also has alopecia, said she would speak to school, but another false promise from one of my parents. She made me feel even worse about having no hair, paranoid the world knew and was laughing at me. Often adding further fuel for the bullies as her ways to deal with it were like so much with her – burry my feelings and wear x and y that make you stick out in a very small year group. So by the age of 14 I was suicidal and felt a freak of nature that nobody would ever love.

Sadly that lack of love included myself. Looking in the mirror was more and more impossible. I didn’t want to see what I looked like, and this would just serve to remind me of one humanity’s key features. Photographs, as these were pre-selfie days, I had already disliked but this also became a thing to add fuel to my self hate and body dysmorphia. My eldest brother would laugh at me and leave me feeling humiliated with every picture he took, as complained my eyes were shut in many. I am highly sensitive, particularly with light, due in part to my dyspraxia. So even my graduation days that should be happy memories of achievement were tainted by this hate that burned deep within. My self image was so poor I didn’t even know how to dress for the body I had, and my narcissistic mother decided I was an extension of her, so would have the say on my wig to glasses and clothes. Making it very clear when I tried to do something individual or different to her way.

The first selfie I took was with my old DSLR in Italy, while doing research for my PhD. I stood against the remains of a Roman bath house and pressed click just to see what horror was roaming the forest. The shock was something words cannot describe – wait that’s me?! I was in a sort relationship, and they laughed at me and my reaction. I was already in therapy for my mental health, so on my return to England I questioned the photograph and myself. Thus began my journey with therapeutic photography.

It would take another decade until my late 30s that I took a selfie without my wig and posted it on social media. The love I received was overwhelming in its positivity, there were no snide remarks or laughter. It was a major step in my self love and ending my body dysmorphia.

I am writing this as an almost 43 year old woman that stands up to and smashes the stigma of mental health, and gives the middle finger to so called beauty norms. Hair loss or alopecia is part of me, not something that defines me. I may never be the best friend with mirrors, but that’s fine. Photographs from others can still be a touchy subject, I had a nightmare recently my brother was ruining my wedding day photos by going on about my eyes being shut and my mum hating my dress to the person I chose to marry! However, I embrace my individuality, my quirks and being. My little bald head is like the moon, as I find her truly beautiful, perhaps my head with no hair can be too!

© Fi S. J. Brown

Disability Pride Month

What do you picture when you think about disability? Many people picture someone in a wheelchair, the literal symbol of disability that fails to show the majority of the disabilities are hidden. July marks Disability Pride Month, an annual, global event that aims to shine a light on physical, learning, hidden disabilities and mental health conditions. 1 in 5 people have a disability in the UK, 80% of which are hidden or invisible.

The disability pride flag was created by Ann Magill, which has different elements:

• The Black Field: A colour of mourning; for those who have suffered from Ableist violence, and also rebellion and protest;
• The Zigzag/Lightning Bolt: How disabled people must navigate barriers, and the creativity in doing so; breaking free from normative authority and body control;
• The Five Colors: The variety of needs and experiences (Mental Illness, Intellectual and Developmental Disability, Invisible and Undiagnosed Disabilities, Physical Disability, and Sensory Disabilities);
• The Parallel Stripes: Solidarity within the Disability Community and all its differences.

Disability Pride is all about reminding people that despite these disabilities – we MATTER and have VALUE just the way we are.

Challenging the stigma and educating the people that disabled people are not one homogenised group is something I am passionate about. Little things can make a huge difference – calling a toilet accessible rather than disabled for example.

I recently took up a position as a students with disabilities officer at the Scottish Rural College’s Student Association (SRUCSA), and hope to use my time there highlighting invisible disabilities. Ending stigmas of mental health, enabling people to raise their voices to help them improve their lives through education, and making those whose role is in teaching more aware of how disability can impact on study – be that in person or online.

Next time you hear someone say ‘but you don’t look disabled’, just remember most are invisible, and will never know how it impacts on their life. Normal is a function on a washing machine, it does not reflect the diversity that makes up the human species. Just because someone may take longer to do something, it does not mean they never will, be patient and support them (how they need it, not how you think they need it).

Finally, if you see someone with a sunflower lanyard, meaning they are exempt from wearing a face mask in public to prevent COVID-19, don’t judge them or think they maybe faking it. This last 18 months has been hard on all of us, don’t be the jerk or joker, be the empath and supporter.

© Fi S. J. Brown

Edge of Summer

Just like the white clouds above
Effortlessly floating on by
Daydreams taken away.
Just like the white clouds above
A sign of peace before the rain
Tears falling in silent drops.

Flowers out in their coloured gowns
Bees stopping to say hello
Birds singing old stories
There is nothing better.

Children longing for their holidays
Endless days and nights
Adventures to be had.
Along the riverbank as it twists
Trees ready to play
On the edge of summer.

© Fi S. J. Brown

The Beginnings of Spring

No-one but me walked into the forest that day,
my eyes reaching for a sky of fifty shades of grey.
An afternoon to escape from the human world,
No screens needed to protect from the virus there.

All the deciduous trees did not hide their bare bark,
while the evergreen elders shook their branches.
Snowdrops rang out joyfully springtime is here,
But will anyone stop to listen to their vernal tolls?

Round the bend past the stump of an elderly oak,
Sat two birds singing the stories of the forest.
They flew away as I went closer to learn more,
Maybe some things just are not meant for my ears.

Past the small river that needs balance to cross,
One step, two step, three steps and I was over.
Into the swamps of mud that coated my boots,
Then jumping into puddles in hope to clean them.

On I walked counting every shade of green seen,
Hugging every other tree as though an old friend.
Tasting the fresh spring air with every breath I took,
Until I reached the end with a sad tear it was over.

© Fi S. J. Brown